5/26

It’s weird to sit down and to think to myself I’ve done very well in the sense of not getting my feelings too involved I almost feel proud… But at times I feel this type of sympathy for myself I almost feel bad for myself I’m Afraid that I can lose people who probably really care for me and love me due to my lack of feelings towards them . I’ve learned to be comfortably numb for so long that I’m almost too hesitate to change and feel anything. I’ll probably feel everything when it ends or if I lose the battle and end up flat on my face again. But that’s a probably. Still keeping guard.